I wake, body heavy, eyes tightly shut, praying for blaring alarm clock to stop. For gods sake just stop already. I hate this day. I spit at it in my mind, I throw words not meant for page or speech, hoping to break its seal. Hoping it will end.

It doesn't end, its barely begun.

The knot  loosened by the world of dreams, pulls, tightening, forcing its way back into its chosen position in my stomach and I lie motionless.

Realism at heart is nothing more than a slow march into the sunset of things you cannot change. It is a clearly viewed, high defenition picture of all of the events, all of the worries, all of the faults, knicks, scratches, tears, and toils of life flash, flash, flashing before my eyes. And down I fall, hands clentched at a desk I loathe the tears of the day stinging, attacking my eyes as I hold them tightly, ever so tightly, shut, hoping to damn the now daily flow, hoping to sniff back the red faced, snot laced sobbing I know is at the ready to siege me and gobble me up. Nervousness and worry dive into me and splish, splash, sploosh come the tears. Dripping into the abyss I see before me. And I gaze into its depths only to see what i've seen a hundred times before. Nothing.

I turn to face the sea of life behind me, reaching touching its shores with my hand. Testing the waters. Bitterly cold. North, South, East, West. Every direction, wave after wave of endless blue, nothingness. An island of fear that saps the hope I had, have, haven't....didn't. Its me and my canyon now. Echoing our sorrows into the night until sleep comes and the world dispells for all to short a time.