Ok. I'll admit it. I'm living behind a cardboard facade of an active life, which is now beginning to crumple around me, and as my cozy laze-about retreat is revealed I stare upon the stark reality of my life and I realize that now is the time to ask for your help, because obviously I can't manage that on my own.
I once used to cook and took delight in making meals and trying new recipes. I now eat lean cu sines for lunch everyday.
I used to love to walk. Rain or shine, hot or cold, night or day, and I now struggle to pull myself out of bed every morning to walk my incessantly hyper active dog.
I used to be creative. I sang, played instruments, dabbled in photography, now files of pictures stay trapped inside my forgotten camera unappreciated and un-edited and my vocal exercise consists of singing along to the radio.
Yet, even as I can hear the endless real of excuses begin their faint warbling track in my mind. Sure this has been the busiest year of my life. Graduation, moving, new jobs, getting a dog, marriage, and now on to being an auntie, but what are those things compared to my passions in life? I mean, of course they are important, life changing in some respects, but they should only add to me as a person, not subtract. Admittedly those things all took time, and in many cases maximized it, but what is stopping me now? What is holding me back from savoring the retreat I used to find in a good walk, the emotional release of a song, or the joy of a painstakingly prepared meal. The answer, I suppose, is obvious, it's not my life, it's Me. I realize this makes the statements and questions above completely pointless, but what is a Blog if not self-indulgent?
I want to pose the challenge to myself, and to those of you who are willing to help me, to regain the passions I once enjoyed. Firstly, some conditions, I work 10 hour days which means I often don't get home until 6:30 or 7:00 at night which is a major obstacle to cooking a nice meal every night for the simple reason that when I get home I am famished and have neither the time nor the patience to cook. So anyone who can get me around that doosey gets a gold star.
I have recently found that a good nights sleep really helps me be less lethargic in the mornings, however when you get home at 6:30 add time to eat, take the dog out again, and watch the news or a tv show it has magically become 9 o'clock and you have had no time to go to the grocery store or read that blog article you wanted to read and so you stay up till 10, which becomes 11 which leads to not enough sleep. Although I used to avoid the snooze it has recently become my constant companion, and as much as I hate that it limits my time to be able to take the dog out and leaves me rushed and frantic to get out the door in the morning. This will, I'm afraid, become an even larger problem when I start taking public transportation again which requires me to get up even earlier.
So, I barely have time to cook or walk the dog...when am I supposed to find time to sing again or take pictures? The weekends are basically my only time to spend with my husband, when he is there, or have a social life, which is hanging on by a thread as it is.
Excuses, excuses. Its all I've got. So. Help. Please? Be harsh. Be nice...I don't care at this point. I just need someone to point me in a direction that doesn't lead to an endless cycle of missed opportunities and boring routine.
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